Disappointing News

I received some disappointing news today - sorry, I can't share the details with the general public... but, I am forever facinated with my response to disappointing news.

My usual first reaction is quite calm - I accept the information, process it, look for rationality to it, do what has to be done in the present and move on...

Then it hits - disappoinment, anger, the intense desire to go back in time and change things. This usually leads to a bit of an obsession - I go back and revisit everything, research what I could have done differently, take action - even if there is no action to take.

When I am in a situation where there is nothing more I can do, I feel at a loss - I want to "do" something to make it better, but there is nothing I can do but accept it, learn from it, and hopefully do better next time...

Then there is God - I know he is involved in our lives, and I take some comfort from reassuring myself that He might have a better plan for me - perhaps there is another opportunity or something is going to happen... or maybe this wasn't the right thing for me - and I would have been more miserable as a result...

But, then there is another side - what if the "reason" provided wasn't the full truth. What if there is more to it that I'm not seeing. What if how others perceive me isn't how I think others perceive me. What if, what if, what if...

Do you know how to quiet the "what if's" of life?

Anyway, I know this is somewhat criptic, but it has been helpful for me to share all this with you (whoever you are). I am disappointed. I am a bit angry and frusterated. Yet, I am hopeful for future possibilities.

It's a boy!

Born Friday, September 16th, 8lbs, 3oz, 11:35 am. Mom went into the hospital at 6:30 - and made quick work of it all. I had the amazing opportunity to witness the event. Incredible! Makes me wonder why I went into accounting... although when you get that budget spreadsheet linked up just right, it's almost the same feeling!

Mom is recovering. Baby is doing fine. There was a little fluid in the lung, so he is being monitored for 48 hours in ICU. He should be fine, though.

Anyway, most of you know, but I just thought I'd blog it for those of you who might not!

Devotional Time & Reading

I've been trying to do regular devotional time in the morning. When I've done this before, I've found it to be a positive way to start the day and it helps with my general mood. I've also been reading a book on finding your "fitness instinct". Basically finding out what it is that you really want to do (physically) and then doing it. The premise is sort of - your body really knows what is good for it so listen to it and trust it... "Making" yourself do something all the time generates negativity towards it and is ultimately unproductive... I sort of agree with much of it, but I also think that you need to push yourself at times. Most of the time, I would rather sit on my butt, even if I know that if I get up and do something I'll feel better. So - I'm not sure where that line is - between a healthy amount of self pushing and an unhealthy amount. I guess I'll keep reading and see what else it says.

So, that is all I have to say about that for now.

Ask, and Ye Shall Receive

Under the wave of pressure from all of you (okay - B) I have decided to post again!

I guess summers just aren't good blogging months for me...

My sister is still pregnant. Her due date is tomorrow, so she could go any day now... I am very excited for her. I am also excited to meet my little niece or niefew.

My parents and sister are staying with us right now and it has been working out well for the time being. Mom is into renovations and seems to be enjoying playing with paint and colour pallets. I think the bathroom is next on her hit list, and so I anticipate a nice new bathroom sometime in the future. She is currently completing the office, which is being refinished with a moss green and lament flooring. I think it will look nice when it is done.

Our church used time during Family Camp to being a strategic planning process to implement our vision. This is exciting and I have a sense that things will be accomplished. At the same time, I am struggling with continuing to work, with Eric being on reduced hours (now that the boys are in school), and just general contentment. There is part of me that just feels tired.

Well - that is all for now.