I don't know what to write

I feel like I should write - I haven't in awhile - but I'm not sure what to say. Should I tell you all that I am feeling sad today? I don't know why - I just am - like a heavy weight is on my heart and I want to cry but can't...

Perhaps it is just residual from my trip to Ottawa. I had a good trip - and the last day was good, but also emotional. We heard from a speaker who talked about his adventureous trips to both poles and to each contenent's highest peak. It was inspirational, but also reminded me of my own desire for adventure...

And on the second leg of my flight, the seatbelt didn't fit so I had to ask for an extention - which then led me to a self arguement on whether or not I really am doing the right thing in trying to get healthy... Of course, upon return, there always seems to be a bit of a down - back to normal, back to everyday, back to the mess and work that await me, back to the problems I have yet to deal with.

But these are all normal things... Things I deal with quite adequately most of the time - so why do I feel so down? I try to talk myself out of it, but all I really want to do is go to bed and sleep my life away.

Maybe today is just a down day... Tomorrow should be better!