Breaking the Binge Cycle - Good Day

So, the following is the same day, with different choices... (Ya - it is a little "Mr. Rogers", but bear with me - I am working through a process)

Wake Up: Feelings: looking forward to spending the day with my friends, seeing my friend choose a wedding dress and hanging out. I realize that the dresses in the shops are usually not in my size, but my plan is to try as many different styles as I can so I can figure out what I will feel the best in - both for comfort and what I feel looks good.

Breakfast: Going out with the girls - I think about what I really feel like eating this morning and order it. I take time to enjoy the taste, texture, and sight of the meal, plus the enjoyment of visiting with my friends. I participate in the conversation. I probably stop eating before I finish the entire meal so I ask for a carryout.

Dress Shopping: There is only one dress in my size. I try it on and think about what I like about it and what I don't. I "hold up" a few others in sizes that are close enough in size to see if there are attributes about them that I would like or that would suit me. I notice that the others are doing the same thing and that we all have different body types. I enjoy watching my friend try on wedding dresses and discussing the wedding and wedding colours.

Snack: I planned ahead and brought an apple and few pieces of cheese. I eat them in the car on the way to the next dress shop as it has been a couple hours from breakfast.

Lunch: After a few more dress shops I have more knowledge about what I like and don't like, and we go for lunch. I choose something that I really am hungry for and enjoy it and the company. Again, I eat about 1/2 to 2/3 and take the rest out.

Dress Shopping: By the end of the day we haven't made any decisions, but I have a good idea of what I like and don't like and we have decided on a colour. The bride is almost settled on a wedding dress and I am happy to see her looking beautiful.

Snack: I take a break from trying on dresses, sit down on the chair in the store and enjoy a granola bar.

Phone call from home: How much longer will you be gone? I let them know how much longer - feeling grateful for the opportunity to have a nice day out and continue to enjoy it. I challenge any "guilty" feelings or messages that pop into my head.

Go home for Supper: Pick out from the table what I want to eat - enjoy the food, being home with the family and sharing our days apart with eachother.

Late Evening/Night: I am tired, but feeling good, positive, and happy. I am physically satisfied (full and content with the food I've eatten), I have had a good day. I have an evening snack and perhaps I choose an oreo or a fruit and either is okay.

SO - the above DID NOT HAPPEN EITHER! And it sounds a little overly idealistic. In actual fact, may of the negative messages entered my mind, and some of the time I was able to choose to challenge them and replace them with more positive views. Sometimes I didn't... and more then once I started calculating how much weight I thought I could loose before the wedding, even though I know that it would be detremental to my health in the long run...

However, I found the activity useful in thinking about how a combination of thoughts, feelings, external forces and biological factors (food/activity) can contribute to binging. I can affect my thoughts, feelings and food/activity and I can choose how I react to external forces.

So, that is what I learned this week in the Eating Disorder Clinic...

OH and the one totally true fact from the day: THE BRIDE DID LOOK BEAUTIFUL IN HER DRESS!!! It brought tears to my eyes - and I am so honoured to be a part of the upcoming day. All of us girls are beautiful, amazing women and I am looking forward to spending time with all y'all!