I love music!

I have always enjoyed music... And most of the time, there is a song or two (or more) in my head...

I have been known to just break out into the middle of a song. Unbeknownst to those around me, I had been singing the entire song from the beginning in my head... it is just that sometimes it slips out of my head.

I was asked recently if I ever considered a career in music. Well, truthfully, yes - but not very seriously. It just seems like one of those careers that takes so much more then just a good voice... and I don't think I have the other attributes necessary.

However, I must say that I am so glad to be a part of a church where I can use my love for music and singing to the best that I can. Recently, I have had an even greater love in and interest for new material, new songs. I think that could be related to the fact that I have been using my music more.

In highschool I was a part of several musical groups, resulting in my practising almost every day... and I loved it.

Once in awhile I wonder if I missed my calling. I don't think so, but I still wonder.

And I say, "Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing. Thanks for all the joy they're bringing. Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty, what would life be without a song for the dance what are we? So I say, "Thank you for the music, for giving it to me." (ABBA)

What is God's Will?

And, why don't I know it?

Recent events have proved that I am totally unaware of God's will. I truly believed that a few things were going to happen - new career opportunity, a financial recovery, a growing church - and none of these seem to be happenning. I am totally clueless? Is God even listening? Does he care?

It is painful to put yourself out there for people and have them slam a door in your face. It is even more painful when you feel like you've put yourself out there for God, and it feels like he has slamed the door in your face, traping your fingers in the door jam!

My faith says that I am simply out of touch with what God's will is - that I need to spend more time with Him and pay attention to where he is working... but I feel like I have been ignored. I feel hurt.

That is where I am at today! Perhaps tomorrow will be better.